According to Wikipedia; one tonne of gold equated to a value of US$32.15 million in March 2008 ($1,000/troy ounces).United States Gold Reserve is 8,133.5 tonnes

Now I’m not much of a matamatician but I can use a calculater meaning that I know that the NY gold reserve is worth $261,492,020,000. If you want to attempt a robbery of the New york gold reserve here’s a handy map, provided by Google

But first here are a few Alternative approaches,

The Madden Method

Elementary my dear Watson, “I’d use my (girlish) charm and animal magnatism to convince the manager to hand it over, I believe it would go something like this. Clears throath-Mighty Fine evening isn’t it young chap, now about that gold, hand it over!I want it in coins with my likeness minted on one side and…chocolate, yes thats right sir, chocolate on the other. I shall return in the morrow!. I presume it would end quite well indeed.”*

 The Corluddy Con Approach

i’m going to use a picture to describe my fiendish plot…

This is how I see it bomb + wall = hole – gold= happy con!

*actual Madden quote**

**poetic lisence may have been exercised on Actual Madden quote, but he sure said something along those lines

I was googleing segway, because they’re basically uber-cool (actually i think that the stuff white people like should write “segway” into his list, when’s the last time you saw an inuit using a segway?)  and I found this excellent sport, wait for it… segway polo! WOW. The sport of new age, eco-concious, yuppie Kings.

segway away!             wooooooossssssh!

Def: Irish Model-1) a model who is Irish, 2) a comercial model who advertises the likes of a the opening of a new starbucks or a skiing equipment store 3)generally of southside (The good side, as illustrated by this map of starbucks in Dublin, they’re all on the southside-look at that northside scum, all the way over there on the other side of the river, how focking dare they!) origin.

View Larger Map

Basically an Irish model is a cultural phenonom, due to a paddling-pool sized gene pool Ireland dosen’t realy have a market for

b) Glamour modeling

Well anyway I have a great idea for a new show, wait for it…..Teenage mutant Irish Models – wow, I know im a genius! It basically dose what it says on the tin- They’re Irish models who are, for some reason beautifully mutated, and they also live in a sewer, the comparisons are starting to surface….

” Teenage Mutant Irish Models
Teenage Mutant Irish Models
Teenage Mutant Irish Models
Models in a micro mini skirt
Model power!

They’re the world’s most fearsome fighting team (We’re really hip!)
They’re heroes in a mini skirt and they’re orange (Hey – It’s fake tan!)
When the evil Gerard Keane attacks
These Model girls don’t cut him no slack!

I’d like to thank everyone for nominating me for the shortlist of nominees who might be nominated for the greatest person in the world award. Now to thank some people, Goths (“Mom why are all my clothes black”), Emo’s (“Fock Sake ,now I have to write a song about this”), em Jesus, hey Jesus, how’s it goin’ up there. Che Guevara, alive and well in the Rep. of Ireland. Gerry Adams, thanks Gerry for not knee-capping me.Kurt “what d’u mean he’s dead” Cobain. Every hobo who has threatened to kill me. I’d like to thank the Rugger Huggers/Yummy drummies (depending on your place of origin) for through their mini-skirtedness and the beautifully crafted mix of OC and D4 accent have made everything possible. The guy who invented the Hummer, Colnel Saunders for the holy grail of Herbs and Spices. And last but not least the brave Men and Women who work in Fast Food reasturants, for without them our nation and the Nations of the world would fall into economic demise.Thank you